Does birth order really affect relationships?

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I recently read a fascinating article (see Does birth order make or break a relationship?).  It discussed how birth order, or a person’s place within the family, can have a definite impact on a romantic relationship.

Recipe: Grilled chicken and berries salad

I have an absolute love affair with salads.  They are mostly good for you, can be done in so many different ways, and are so easy to prepare.  I had quite a lot of berries left over after making berry shortcakes and so decided to use them in a delicious summer salad.

Recipe: Berry Shortcakes

I love when June rolls around because I know that it means  it's time for fresh berries.  I came up with the idea for this recipe a couple years ago.  We were having company for dinner and I needed to do something for dessert.  Not wanting to buy a full cake, the majority of which my husband and I would be stuck with, I came across shortcakes at the store and put this sweet treat together in three easy steps.

Everything old is new again

I hate to waste anything.  I'm finding that this is a double-edged sword.  It has led to my irrational view that I can save everything: clothes that are now two sizes small, shoes that I no longer wear or can no longer fit, and many other things that are well past their prime. 

When my daughter was a baby, I would buy the Gerber baby foods that come in those cute little plastic containers with the lid. Once she finished with the food I was so torn about throwing the containers away; I was so sure they could be recycled for another use. They are not very big at all so what could I use them for?

I went through one of my drawers and found several loose safety pins, beads from a broken bracelet that I planned to try to salvage, and other trinkets.  It occured to me to use the empty baby food container to store these items. 

I thought of a few other uses: Using them to hold items for crafts--buttons, beads, etc.  Using them for snack finger foods like Cheerios when baby is older.  Store items like paper clips, use them in the garage or basement to hold loose nails and screws. 

Have you re-used these containers or can you think of other ways to use them? If so, please share your ideas! 

Standing on the edge...

"You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change. " - Les Brown

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I have been struggling with returning to work and school, adjusting to a new baby while also raising a three year old, maintaining a home, being a wife, and trying so hard to maintain my spiritual routine.  All of this on the bare minimum of rest and sleep.  I just realized something: I'm tired. No scratch that--I'm exhausted. 

I know that something has to give and soon.  I cannot continue to barely function by getting a two hour nap (if I'm fortunate) and working a twelve plus hour night shift, get off and shower, and stay up until ten or eleven a.m. when my children are ready to sleep as well, then getting a three hour nap (again--if I'm fortunate) and staying up until the wee hours working on homework. 

I've realized that I've been working so hard to be the best at everything that I'm not really being good at anything.  I'm stretched too thin. 

We live far away from most of our family and daycare is not an option.  I had a long talk with my husband and the verdict was that I would reduce my work schedule to work as little as possible.  The plan is for me to work one shift a week.  I talked to my supervisor who is so gracious and more than supportive and she eagerly wanted to know what to do to support me.  Now I just need to sign the paperwork.  So why am I so scared?!

In reality, I can work as much or as little as I want.  I can schedule my shifts in advance or call at the last minute and ask to be placed.  I even have a safety net of sorts: I can change my schedule back or even go full-time whenever I wish.  What's so bad about that? It sounds perfect.  Am I terrified of reducing our income?  That's likely part of it.  However, what amount of money can replace the precious time you spend with your children and be both physically and mentally present? 

Years ago, one of my nursing instructors said: "There is fear of the unknown."  That absolutely describes my feelings in a nutshell.  I have been able to work the same days and same schedule for so long and before all of the life changes I've had, I really was able to do it all easily.  Now I'm walking a path that I'm unsure of.  One thing I know for certain--I have to achieve a better life balance and it is not going to happen unless I make the first move. 


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Getting Dressed

We're still working on getting those shoes on the right feet!

Three Plus One Equals Chaos

I had a rare quiet moment, where both of my little ones were asleep and I was able to actually do stuff that I needed to do.  I am surprised at how disorganized I feel at times. I forgot how different it is with a new baby.

I guess I did not fully appreciate how far we had come with our now three and a half year old and how independent she is.  She is fully potty trained, can express her needs, and carry on a conversation at length.  She is perfectly content playing alone or with others and she climbs into bed and goes to sleep on her own. 

I think that our routine and way of life with her was just so easy that I didn't completely anticipate the magnitude of changes that a new baby brings. 

Our newest addition is a bit temperamental, and it has made it quite a task to shop or get much of anything done.  Just getting the three of us ready to go to a store that is within five miles of my home can take up to two hours.  I'm at times a perfectionist and I expect far too much of myself.  While that quality can be fine when channeled properly and kept in perspective, it can cause me to self implode when its not. 

I expected not to get much done after I had the baby, but did not plan on it lasting for this long.  My little one is now four and a half months old.  I don't know, maybe this is just how it is after you have another baby?  I think I was so spoiled with my firstborn being such an "easy" baby that this time around I'm totally in uncharted territory. 

I'm certain that other moms have had a similar experience.  If so, please share how you adjusted to life with a new baby--especially if you already had other children.

25 hours in a day

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I'm sitting here at the computer and it is 1:30 a.m locally.  I just finished working on a few things and my  body is screaming for me to get in bed.  My baby is soundly asleep as are the rest of my family. Yet, my mind is in a furious race.  I'm already planning my to-do list for the day and the weekend.  I wonder if there are any laws of the universe that might make it possible--just occasionally--to have an extra hour in the day?  I know we say it in jest, however, I'm thinking that it just might work. 

In reality, I know that is not going to happen so I've had to narrow down the things that I can do to make a day productive:

• Organize, organize, organize.  Did I say that enough?  This is the key, in my opinion, to getting the necessary things done each day.  I absolutely love the Colornotes app on my phone, because I can make all sorts of checklists and paste reminders with alarms and notes on my phone.  Use whatever notebook or organizational tool(s) resources at your disposal.  By having a list, particularly for days  that are outrageously busy, I can prioritize what is a must and what can wait. This way, I prevent non-essentials from putting a drain on my time and energy.

• Delegate. Since it seems that women are the best at multi-tasking, it is all too easy to try to do every possible thing on your own.  It's sometimes hard to let go of the reins and give others control. However, if you have a reliable source for help by all means use it!  Don't be surprised if help comes from an unlikely source: For example, my 3 1/2 year old has been learning the meaning of sorting from educational computer games.  Well, I gave her a hands-on lesson when it was time to do laundry.  She now knows the difference between big towels and little towels and can separate them into piles--so we both win!

• Eliminate time wasters. I'm totally guilty of blowing several hours on the computer or watching TV.  Then at the end of the day, I'm frustrated because I've not accomplished anything.  Because I know I have a wandering eye on the computer--I set out to balance my bankbook and pay bills online and end up anywhere but--I have a rule for myself.  I only get on the computer after I've completed the essential things.  That way, I can browse at my leisure.  Turn off the TV for a while, return non-emergency phone calls later--focus on the task at hand.

I don't always succeed, but I do try to follow these steps daily, so that I feel a sense of accomplishment.  Since it seems everyone I know is always busy as well, please share what you do to make your day more productive. 




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How I'm saving money

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With crazy gas prices, a difficult job market, and a generally shaky economy who isn't into saving money nowadays?  I completely agree with the idea that every little bit helps.  It seems that most people will look for ways that are practical and that works for them and what works for some won't work for all.  However, it helps to find ways to soften the impact of the economy on your wallet.  Here are some ways I've found to save money.

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Keep some of you...

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I recently read an article, where musician Alicia Keys quoted advice she received from Oprah: "Keep some of you for you."  I immediately recognized the reasonableness of this from the standpoint of super stardom.  Yet, that bit of advice resonated with me on a much smaller scale: everyday life for ordinary women.  Women traditionally take on the role of caregivers: taking care of their children, spouse, homes, and when the need arises, their parents.  In most cases,  women are also working a job (or two) outside the home. On top of all this, you might also be the voice of reason, the shoulder to cry on, the one everyone seeks out when they have problems.

Having to spread themselves so thin in the seemingly never ending quest to get it all done, women usually neglect to take care of themselves.  All of this comes at a high price--according to the FDA, "more women die from heart disease than from anything else."  We're taking such good care of everyone and everything else that it is literally killing us.  If one of our kids shows even the slightest need for medical attention, we are right on the case, making a doctor's appointment.  However, when we have the nagging feeling that something is physically wrong, we reason that we just don't have the time to go and get it checked out.  The idea to "keep some of you for you" is necessary.  You can only give so much of yourself.  It is so important to take time out to replenish yourself and recharge your batteries.  Doing so is not an act of selfishness;it is an act of self-preservation.